


Hireath

by aloissssxo



Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Angst, Astre Phantomhive - Freeform, BAMF Ciel Phantomhive, Caring Sebastian, Childhood Trauma, Christmas Fluff, Ciel Phantomhive Being an Asshole, Ciel Phantomhive is Annoyed, Ciel Phantomhive is a Brat, Demon Deals, Demon Summoning, Demon/Human Relationships, Domestic Fluff, Faustian Bargain, Gen, Kuroshitsuji Spoilers, New Year's Eve, Possessive Sebastian, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-05
Updated: 2020-08-08
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:15:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 14,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25730437
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aloissssxo/pseuds/aloissssxo
Summary: Hireath ; homesickness for a home which you can't return to.Ciel despises Christmas. He claims that he always will hate it for as long as he lives. He has no belief in Christ, so he thinks it’s a foolish celebration. Christ wasn’t there when he needed him the most, so why would he celebrate his potential birth?Sebastian on the other hand, adores Christmas. It’s one of the few earthly things that can bring him such joy. Seeing the child he was contracted to be faced with celebrations of Christ while he was subject to be demon’s dinner was just humorous to him. Every year, he gets gifts for Ciel, and every year Ciel ignores all of them. This year, Sebastian takes things a step further. He decorates the entire manor from head to toe on Christmas Eve, and Ciel wakes up in a Christmas wonderland. Presents are under the tree, and a gorgeous breakfast is set on the table.Sebastian can tell that Ciel is excited, but Ciel forces himself to pretend that he’s not. Throughout the day, however, he lets this facade down more and more. Ciel’s fate of damnation was already sealed in, but perhaps a glimmer of hope is within his grasp.
Relationships: Elizabeth Midford/Ciel Phantomhive, Sebastian Michaelis/Ciel Phantomhive
Comments: 2
Kudos: 22





	1. Night Terrors

**Author's Note:**

> This fanfiction was written by both myself and a good friend of mine, https://archiveofourown.org/users/LostInStardust , on amino. We didn't actually decide to compile this into a fan fiction, but here it is! After some writing, as it started off as a roleplay, we thought about sharing our work publicly and here it is. 
> 
> I wrote from Sebastian's point of view whereas LostInStardust wrote in Ciel's, as you can tell our writing style varies but we are mostly consistent. We will continue to release more chapters as the two of us write more content. If you have any suggestions or events that you imagine would fit in well with the theme of this fan fiction then please feel free to suggest them in the comments. 
> 
> It is advised that you are up to date with the Black Butler/Kuroshitsuji manga before reading this fanfiction as we link back and discuss themes and situations that have been brought up throughout the series.  
> We refer to Our!Ciel, the main character, as both Ciel and Astre. Astre being one of the speculated original names for his character. We acknowledge that the Real!Ciel owns the name Ciel while Our!Ciel/Astre is an imposter/fakes his name. 
> 
> Kudos and comments would be highly appreciated! Thank you, we hope that you enjoy!

It’s a butler's duty to serve their master, to be by their side through every waking moment, to guide them to be righteous members of society. A butler's day starts early and ends late, some even say it never ends, that they must always be alert and ready for their master’s every call. This is the butler's aesthetic, and Sebastian upheld it with utmost dignity.

The road to becoming a butler was unforeseen, but the demon didn’t particularly mind, knowing the end result would be most appealing. Some entertainment along the way was much appreciated, finding the ordeal thoroughly pleasing, much better than terrorising simple people with souls worth less than their salt.  
Sebastian had been the phantomhive butler for three years now, and his master was of all of 5 feet and 2 inches - a little lord for sure. It had been hard to get to grips with managing the infantile mortal, and he was still as unpredictable as ever - but Sebastian was finding more ease to the role every day.

It was the 23rd of December, and the demon clad in black had been listening to the young earl claim his hatred towards the upcoming celebrations, especially as his fiancé had been wittering on about the holy celebrations, and Sebastian was on the other end of the tether once she had left. The clock had just struck 7PM, the exact time his young lord was due his afternoon tea and last dish of the day, that being his dessert. Of course, the punctual servant knocked thrice on the younger’s study, awaiting his allowance for entry.  
The young earl in question never would’ve survived if it hadn’t been for said butler knocking. Every moment was horrific in that cage those cultists had kept him in...they tore him apart, piece by piece, stripping him of his dignity, branding him with their seal for eternity.

The young earl, only 9 days shy of age 13, had already had his fair share of torture. Now, however, the world expected to torture him even further with the prospect of the Christmas season.  
Nothing made Ciel sicker than the idea of Christmas. Just the thought of it making his skin crawl. Too many happy and cheerful faces. Too many carolers, blaring and broadcasting their manufactured joy for all to hear.

Ciel found it foolish. It wasn’t like there was a real reason to celebrate, as the basis for the holiday was a fake one. There was no Christ, no god, Ciel knew that. In his time of need, the only thing that saved him was an inhabitant of the hellish underworld. He was snapped out of his thoughts by three raps against his study door. Only Sebastian knocked like that. He quickly got his papers together so he could pretend like he was working and not totally lost in thought before calling out.

“You may enter, Sebastian.” Sebastian heard the flickering and fleeting actions of the young boy, the smallest of smirks creeping to his lips as he knew very well the child often didn’t concentrate - and a part of Sebastian understood since he was taking on an adult job. No matter how much Ciel protested, declaring he was mature enough to be an earl, it was clear to everybody that the role was a tiresome one for a child. The elder made sure to clear his face of a smirk before approaching the door properly. Sebastian opened the door to the study before drawing in the small cart he had with him, the usual afternoon teapot steeping the young master's afternoon tea. This time, Sebastian made sure to choose out a camomile selection, knowing the younger was stressed over the thought of Christmas.

“Your afternoon tea, my lord.” he states as he comes to a stop beside the desk, which it’s contents had barely moved. He poured the light substance into a teacup, before lightly placing it down along with its saucer gently onto the desk away from the paperwork but within grasp.  
“For dessert, we have French fancies accompanied with whipped cream,” he says, placing the matching plate beside the tea. Sebastian looked between the blue-haired boy and his paperwork briefly “I see you’ve not managed to get much work done, my lord,” he states and looks down at him from where he stood beside the desk, “is something on your mind?”

Ciel sighed, resting his head on his hand as the tea and food was placed in front of him. “It’s all of this holiday nonsense.” He said, stirring his tea idly before bringing it up to his mouth to take a small sip. “All of it is so foolish and childlike.” He muttered, shaking his head.

He used to love Christmas as a little boy. He would sprint down the stairs, open his presents, smiling happily as he received each and every one.  
Now, however, that was not the case. His parents were dead and unable to celebrate with him. Lizzie’s cheerful declarations of the holiday season being among them only proved to give him a massive headache every time he attempted to listen to her.

“I will not tolerate any of this nonsense in my manner this year, Sebastian. I don’t want any of the foolish gifts you always try to please me with. They’re ridiculous.” He huffed, taking a bite of the sugary treat laid before him.  
“Do I make myself clear, Sebastian? And make sure those servants know the same. You’re welcome to celebrate alone if you keep it in your own quarters and don’t bring me into any of it.” Sebastian listened, allowing the other to rant and speak his mind without intercepting, however Sebastian had found many faults with Ciel's words, finding them both tedious but also interesting.

“Perfectly clear, I shall make the others clear.” he says, before letting out a small chuckle, his deep voice resonating in the study lightly, “although, whatever do you think I would have to celebrate?” he asks, giving Ciel some food for thought.  
Sebastian paced towards the front of the desk instead of looming beside the earl.  
“The lord and I aren’t exactly on mutual terms, as you can imagine,” he says with a small smirk in the corner of his lip, tugging upwards, his eyes narrowing for a second, seeing how his prey could easily mistake the man for not being the devil sometimes.

“Childish indeed,” he mumbled under his breath as he looked at the boy, noticing how keen he was to have his sweet dessert, all while declaring he hated the christmas spirit. Ciel allowed himself to let out a soft snicker, a small smirk appearing on his thin lips as he took another sip of his tea. “I don’t suppose I’d be in the lord’s good graces either then.” He said, moving to devour more of his sweets. Even for someone who claimed to be an adult, he always fell prey to desserts.

“Though, Sebastian, you do seem like the type to enjoy a Christmas celebration.” Ciel knew his butler all too well by this point. He craved the irony of the holiday.  
Ciel’s mind drifted back to the Christmas stories he used to have to read as a child, when he used to practice religion with his family. It was strange to think about those days, when he prayed to some far away god who wasn’t even there to protect him in his darkest moments.

“Even if there was a lord, I hardly believe he’d be someone to celebrate.” Ciel said darkly, taking a long sip of his tea, allowing it to burn his tongue and throat. The slight stinging helped him push down what he was feeling. A deep seeded hatred for the roots of Christmas Day, all drawing back to those awful moments in that cage. Sebastian held his steed as a butler, rarely breaking the facade. As long as he was under Ciel’s influence, he would appear to hold the role he was given. Meaning, the way he spoke and worded things had to be timed perfectly.

“I couldn’t tell you,” he says, a hand travelling to arrange his own hair which was raven black, hanging among his red, auburn eyes.  
“You’re far too gone, any attempts to pray to a lord... Well-“ He snickered, permitting himself this time, enjoying kicking Ciel down, he liked to remind him of his fate. He liked to break the butler facade occasionally, reminding his earl that he was his no matter the outcome “-any attempt to revert would be short lived.” He warns him, semi darkly. He returned to the previous point, trying not to get too distracted as he looked down at his meal.  
“I wouldn't say I enjoy the celebration, but I find great pleasure in spiting the greater forces in this world.”

“I have no plans to pray to a lord who doesn’t listen.” Ciel spoke in a sharp tone of voice. “All that I care about now is my revenge. Nothing else matters to me. I don’t care what happens to my soul, as long as I get the revenge that I need. Isn’t that what makes me so appealing to your kind?” Ciel knew that his soul was a delicious one, and he took pride in that fact. He could practically smell how hungry Sebastian was to devour him, and it made him smirk. “I’m sure I’m the only Christmas present you truly would want, though I can’t say it’s time for you to have it yet.” He smirked even more. “I guess you’ll just have to wait until next year.” His soul was the one thing he could always hold above his butler, and he loved to be a brat about it. He finished up his tea and cake, a soft yawn falling from his lips. “I shall retire to my room now.” He stood, putting his papers in a neat pile before leading the way down to his bedroom, expecting Sebastian to follow as he always did.

Sebastian felt his inner self practically claw at the thought of how perfectly delectable Ciel will turn out to be, especially once he had carried out his revenge in full. Sebastian never wavered or paused to reconsider the fate of this young boy, being steadily set in preparing and leading him, straight into the jaws of an unforgivable beast.  
“Indeed... I shall have to commend you on that one,” he says as he decides to clear the study once the other is asleep. It was surely early for the earl to retire to his room, but he supposed the stress of the Christmas spirit was simply too much for him, and that thought brought satisfaction to Sebastian. The idea that Ciel was so helpless, such a needy child. A child who had the weight of the world on his shoulders, he had given up on the world and on hope. He was tormented and it was the sort of torment and soulful struggle that brought glee to the demon. Sebastian followed the younger down the hallways, following in his steed. Sebastian knew Ciel by this point, knowing he liked to use his soul to boast and flaunt, and although it did bring out sebastian hunger more than it ought to, he did his very best to restrain himself, to seem as though he couldn’t be swayed, not unless the boy needed to be put back in his place - and then he wouldn’t hesitate to use fear.

As the two entered Ciel's private chambers, approaching his bedroom, Sebastian walked a few paces in front of the other, opening the door as always.  
“Today has been eventful, but we should attempt a good night's sleep in order to get through everything tomorrow.” Sebastian says as he closes the door again, walking to the set of drawers to take out a nightgown for ciel to wear to bed, placing it onto the bed itself, preparing to undress Ciel himself as usual. It wouldn’t be unusual for Ciel to be restless at this time, knowing he usually had horrific nightmares days before certain events, such as Christmas, birthdays and stressful times. Ciel nodded a bit as he watched Sebastian dress him. He didn’t want to go to sleep tonight, but he knew it was necessary for his health.

December was always the hardest month of the year for Ciel, and Sebastian knew that very well. With his birthday and Christmas only a mere 11 days apart, the month was plagued with horrific nightmares, and even some daytime flashbacks if he was triggered by something in particular.  
The thought of closing his eyes and falling prey to whatever lay behind them was almost too much to bear, but Ciel wasn’t going to let it get to him. He allowed himself to be lifted into the bed. He laid back against his pillow.

Tomorrow would be a long day. Christmas Eve was always a torturous one. He would have a Christmas party he would have to make at least a short appearance at tomorrow night to keep up good relations with business partners. He was dreading it, of course, because every year, the wives would dote over the adorable young Earl. They would ask him about his Christmas wishes and what toys he wanted. Ciel would have to politely respond when he wanted to order Sebastian to kill them.

“Stay with me until I fall asleep, and when I do, don’t go too far away.” Ciel said, still ever so stoic and powerful, even as he was drifting off to sleep. He needed Sebastian to stay close to him, or else the things in his dream may become real and capture him again. At least, that’s what his tired brain slowly began to believe.  
Sebastian had aided Ciel to dress and deposited his worn clothing into a small basket in his bathroom, knowing he would empty it to take for Meyrin to wash and then he would press it himself.  
Sebastian felt very little empathy for any living creature, but beneath his animalistic and demonic nature, he held a degree of sympathy for the child when it came to his night terrors. Often there would be nights where the child would be tailed by his worst fears, and some nights he experienced real night terrors, experiences where he couldn’t wake from the dream, his flashbacks being positively powerful and surreal.

“Of course, my lord.” Sebastian says with a sense of false warmth, staying near his bedside after closing the curtains and making sure there were no drafts, being well aware of every little detail, knowing the fear clung to Ciel's very being. Once the young mortal was sleeping, Sebastian made sure to take those clothes to the servants quarters before lecturing each one of them about keeping the festivities to a low, repeating the same instructions as every other year. Sebastian on the other hand, made sure that while he kept a close ear out for Ciel's slumber, he got to work on something he had planned.

Around an hour or two later, Ciel began to have a very intense night terror.  
He was back inside of the cage...the filthy men were surrounding him, taunting him about his childlike appearance. He yelled out for someone to help him, but this time, Sebastian didn’t come. He was dragged out on the table, prepared to be sacrificed. He kicked and screamed, something he was doing in his bed too without even realizing it, trying to escape their grasp. He couldn’t wake up. He was too far gone in his memory.  
Suddenly the scene changed without him waking up, and he was at Christmas in a burning building. The tree was melting before his eyes, and so were his parents. They beckoned it’s him, arms full of melting presents. Ciel screamed even louder, trying to run away from them. He felt the flames engulf him, and his screams only intensified.

The worst part about it was that he couldn’t wake up. No matter what was done, he had to live out these sick hellish dreams until he awoke naturally.

Sebastian heard the cries and screams start, and he placed the item he had on his person down on the table, making his way to the young boy’s room, bringing with him a lit candle to lead the way since it was now night time. Sebastian entered their bedroom, the screams being piercingly loud to anyone else, but it was of the norm to the demon. Sebastian placed the candle beside Ciel's bed, the light hopefully enticing his body to rise from its static state, alerting his brain he was indeed asleep.

“Young master-“ sebastian called gently, awaiting the appropriate time where he would gently rock the younger boy, his hands on either arm as he rubbed the soft skin, a tactic he had learnt which was not too restricting or violent, and if most certainly reduced the chance for Ciel to grab for his handgun which he kept under his pillow.  
Sebastian never woke up from these terrors too early, letting them play out for as long as he deemed appropriate. Sebastian saw these dreams as a positive on his side. They kept Ciel aware of his trauma, kept the memories fresh, and the fear tangible. The fear powered his motivation for revenge, and that was exactly what Sebastian wanted. Though he made sure to try and wake him before they went on for too long.

Ciel’s eyes snapped open as he felt the arms on him, and he instinctively went to grab for his hand gun. Upon seeing a shadowy figure above him, he somehow managed to get it out and press it against the head of the man above him.

It was evident to anyone but Ciel that he wasn’t fully out of his nightmare yet. He didn’t feel like himself at all. He felt like the fragile ten year old boy in the cage.  
He shut his eyes tight, feeling the tears begin to slide down his cheeks from pure fear. “If you hurt me I’ll shoot!” He snapped, voice raw from screaming so much. He didn’t even understand where he was. He hadn’t had a nightmare this bad since he was ten, and it was almost as if his body was reverting back to that younger state. “Whoever you are, I swear to god, I’ll kill you!” Swearing to god...those words would make it evident that he wasn’t truly himself in that moment.

Ciel would never say such a thing, especially in the presence of someone like Sebastian. A sense of relief came to the man as he saw Ciel stir in his sleep, his grip loosening but Sebastian retracted his hands faster, feeling the cold end of the gun pressed flush against his forehead. Of course, Sebastian felt no fear in this situation. The candlelight aluminised his face slightly, but he expected the boy to still be haunted by his dream, not to mention the man was naturally tall and his raven hair didn’t help with keeping his face clear to see.

Sebastian’s eyes were widened however, not recalling knowledge of Ciel keeping a gun beneath his pillow. He had been the one to change his bedsheets whenever they needed changing or whenever Ciel would have an unfortunate accident, being young - but he’d never witnessed a gun between the sheets. It surprised him a little, being an extremely observant man.  
Sebastian retreated lightly, still being near, but giving Ciel space. “Now, young lord-“ he says in his familiar tone, warm but also orderly “it’s only me, Sebastian,” he tells him, finding it interesting how the young boy chose to ‘swear to god’ with a demon in the room. Who was he truly scared of? The cultists in his dreams, or the demon who had been haunting him since, set on killing him in the long run?

“You’re safe, right now,” he says, trying not to smile at how ironic it was. The child was never safe and never would be. “You’re in bed, at the manor. You’re no longer in the cage. Look around you,” he says calmly, the candle lit beside the young man.  
Warily, Ciel opened his eyes to see a man standing there in front of him. His grip tightened on the gun for a minute before he heard the words form into a familiar tone of voice. His arm fell limp, dropping the armed hand to the bed. He carefully uncocked the revolver before slipping it back under his pillow.  
He looked around for a moment, trying to take in all of his surroundings to the best of his ability. He didn’t want to, but he slowly became aware of all that was around him. He brought his hands up to wipe at his now drying tears, before dropping his hands back onto the bed,  
“I require a bath.” Ciel stated, a weak tone of voice overtaking him, something that was rare for the small boy. In his struggle with his dreams, he seemed to have last control of his body, specifically his bladder. Such incidents still managed to embarrass him, even if it was common for this to take place in the dreaded month of December.

Sebastian kept his distance until Ciel dropped the weapon, understanding his sudden and violent fear. Sebastian turned to the door and turned on the gas lamps, taking the candle and using the flame to light them, making sure there was ample light in the bedroom, before doing the same in the bathroom, blowing the candle out, running the taps, and returning to Ciel’s side.  
“Of course, my lord,” he says quietly, removing the covers for the younger to remove himself from the wet sheets. “I shall have these washed and replaced for you,” he says, removing his tailcoat and placing it on a chair in the room. He returns to Ciel and lifts him from the bed, taking him to the bathroom, seating him on the toilet while the bath runs, returning to strip the bed.  
Sebastian bared it, finding this task tedious. It was moments like these where Sebastian loathed having sensitive sight and smell. He loathed having senses all together when it came to human defecation. He didn’t mutter a word or show any emotion, doing as he was to do, clearing it away. He returned to Ciel’s side in a timely manner, removing his soiled gloves “The water is at the right temperature, let’s get you in.” he says calmly, knowing the other was likely to still be shaken. Sebastian showed near to no emotion, undressing the child before taking him to the bath and lowering him gently so that he was submerged to the waist.

Ciel tried not to show his embarrassment on his face. What 13 year old still wets the bed when he has a nightmare? It was absolutely humiliating. The worst part was, he craved the affection after these afflictions, which was something he knew that he would never be able to experience. His butler was a demon, he didn’t understand human comfort. When he was really little, Tanaka used to comfort him after these moments, but now? He was placed in a bath, washed with no emotion, and placed back to bed. Even if he pretended to be heartless all the time, he certainly had emotion.  
Once he was placed in the water, Ciel sat completely still, staring blankly ahead of him. He hadn’t felt this vile in a very long time. He hated to admit it, but wetting the bed always reminded him of that cage. It’s not like they let him get up and use the bathroom while he was there, so the stench always sends him back to that place.

Sebastian washed the earl with ease, but being sure to be gentle, learning in the first month or two of caring for the earl that he had a rather rough hand.  
“My lord, if you may permit me to say,” he speaks, breaking the silence as he could sense the tense aura around the two, “there is no need to be embarrassed. I am not flustered by such incidents,” he tells him, scrubbing Ciel's back to lather the soap before bringing the sponge to his chest, washing him over. “I know as well as you, the night terrors can be a frightful thing. But no need to fret, I'll be here every time to retrieve you from the darkness.” He tells him. “Just like the first time,” he says, showing generosity and kindness in his words.

Sebastian’s version of kindness varied, occasionally it was sincere, acting in a kind way without realising. Sometimes he played mind tricks, coming across as kind, but really only caring about what he benefited from it. Other times, he completely faked the nice things he was saying. It was always down to Ciel to interpret his words as sincere or cynical, but Ciel didn’t know how to respond to the kind words. He honestly didn’t believe them, coming from a demon. He knew it was best not to dwell on these earthly emotions anyway. He just wanted to rise from the bath and go back to bed.

It was fairly evident at that point for Ciel that no earthly being’s care mattered anymore. It didn’t matter if no one loved him, or if he destroyed everything in the process of his revenge. That’s just that way that things were for him, and he wasn’t going to let that deter him.  
After a while in the bath, Ciel lifted his arms to signal that he was done and he would like to be carried back to bed. He very much did not want to go back to sleep after that horrible night terror, but he knew that he had to sleep again at some point.

Sebastian rinsed the sponge and stood to collect a towel, placing it beside them before he lifted Ciel out of the bath under the arms and onto the mat beneath them. Sebastian took a hold of the towel and draped Ciel in it, rubbing his smaller frame to dry him off, being gentle in most places. “Do not fret,” Sebastian said suddenly as he was drying the boy’s legs, “it is not often you have a second nightmare after the first,” he informs Ciel before taking a hold of a fresh and clean nightshirt and underwear, dressing the boy. “You should sleep well, is there anything I can do to settle you, my lord?” He asks as he looks up through his raven tresses. “Some hot milk, perhaps?” he asks, knowing the boy often had such a treat whenever he couldn’t sleep or before special events as a treat Ciel allowed himself to be taken care of by his butler, not letting the delicate care phase him. He knew it wasn’t real. The only value he was to the other man was his soul. Sebastian didn’t actually care about him.

“Hot milk with honey.” Ciel said, nodding. His voice came out strong, but hoarse. The screaming had not done any good for his vocal chords. Hopefully, the honey would help with that as well.  
He walked ahead of his butler, slipping under the covers of his bed again. He found himself longing for simpler times of childhood in that moment, something he rarely did. He knew he was far better off now than he was as a child, but at least back then he didn’t have to worry about night terrors, or the Queen’s constant orders.  
He rubbed tiredly at his eyes, resting back against the pillows and closing his eyes as he awaited Sebastian’s return with his milk.

Sebastian nodded and swiftly left, being sure to take his tailcoat with him as he made his way to the kitchen, heating a saucer of milk on the stove, replacing his gloves with a new set as the milk heated up. Sebastian made sure to supply ample amounts of honey in a side dish. Sebastian poured the milk into a pot before taking the tray up to his master. “How peculiar,” he observed out loud as he walked up the stairs and towards Ciel’s chambers, ignoring the Christmas decorations he’d hung up as he went towards his master. “Humans are scared of such simple things...” he whispers under his breath, wondering what fear felt like. For Sebastian, his prey becoming fearful and scared was irresistible, but he did ponder on what it must feel like to be scared. Sebastian had never felt that.  
“My lord,” he calls out once he gets to his door, knocking three times again before entering, bringing a tray to his room and setting it down beside his bed, pouring the milk into the cup before adding the right amount of honey. “You shouldn’t have honey before bed... It will decay your teeth-“ Sebastian scolds, like how Ciel told him Tanaka used to.  
“But I shall allow you on this occasion,” he tells him and hands the saucer to him carefully.

Ciel scoffed when he heard the words from his butler’s mouth, taking the honey field tea and drinking it regardless of the warning. “You are not the one who should be giving orders here, Sebastian.” He said sternly, tilting his head up just slightly to look a bit more superior than he had before. “It’s not your place to tell me what I can and can’t do. That’s my job. I’m your master, not the other way around.” He drank the tea slowly, wanting to stall the time it took to finish it so he could have less time to sleep. He knew he needed the rest, but that was another thing he refused to let Sebastian be right about. He’d be just fine on little sleep. He’s done it many times before. Besides, tomorrow was only Christmas Eve. It would be painful to go through the parties and have to remind people that he didn’t celebrate the foolish holiday in the same way they did, but it was still much simpler than the other missions they had been on recently.  
Christmas tended to be the most awful time of the year for Ciel, so it would be nice to have a bit of a break tomorrow, as no one ever scheduled meetings on Christmas Eve. As long as he could make it through the Queen’s party unscathed, he will have gotten through the Christmas season untouched.

Sebastian listened and tilted his head ever so slightly, a small smile on his face. “Of course, though I recall you advising me to act like a proper butler, and Tanaka used to scold you for this so I shall do the same. If you would like to revoke this, you know what you need to do,” he says quietly and then steps back to allow Ciel ample time to finish his drink.  
Sebastian stood by the window, closing his eyes for a moment as if to rest while standing, not speaking out of line as that wasn’t his place, as told by Ciel before. Sebastian was thinking to himself, not about much in particular, mostly about his existence outside of the mortal world, his brief moments of peace like this allowing him to rest. It was incredibly rare Sebastian allowed Ciel to even see him rest for seconds, though he knew Ciel would be taking his time to savour his drink, being shaken still Ciel didn’t even notice that Sebastian was resting slightly. His tired brain could only focus on one thing at once, and currently, that one thing was his milk with honey.

Tanaka was always a much harsher butler than Sebastian, but that’s how he wanted it. He didn’t like to have a butler who constantly corrected him on things that didn’t matter. Why should it matter if he would have bad teeth when he gets older if he won’t even live to see such a thing?  
“You’re not Tanaka.” Ciel said finally. “Don’t act like him. You will continue to pose as my butler refrain from trying to fix behaviors that will not have an effect on me in my nonexistent future. It makes you seem foolish.”  
Sebastian opened an eye to look at his master, looking from the corner of his eye.  
“Yes, my lord,” he said simply, being somewhat irked he was pulled from his deep thought, though he didn’t show it. He wasn’t even sure Ciel knew he rested.

“I shall refrain from correcting those actions from now on,” he said and turned his head towards the young boy. Sebastian looked and saw how Ciel was still drinking, and he presumed that it was alright for him to rest again for a moment, standing with his hands behind him as he stood peacefully.  
Ciel didn’t even bother to pay attention to Sebastian for much longer. He continued to sip his tea silently, gazing out the window every once in a while to the cold, unforgiving outside.  
He laid back against his pillow, breathing out a quiet sigh.

“Stay until I fall asleep, Sebastian.” He said sternly as he allowed himself to fully rest. He closed his eyes, feeling his body slowly succumb to the much needed sleep.  
Sebastian opened his eyes and moved beside the young boy, putting his empty cup and saucer onto the tray beside the pot, neatly arranging it for when he took it back downstairs “of course, young master.” he says and nods, bringing the quilt up closer so ciel is covered. Sebastian stepped back, observing how the younger fell asleep so quickly, despite his efforts not to sleep at all.  
Once Ciel had fallen asleep, Sebastian took the tray downstairs and washed up, before returning to the main entrance hall to resume decorating, rather fiendishly as he knew Ciel had shared his distaste for christmas. Sebastian knew that Ciel had a strong hatred for Christmas and and especially Christmas day, but Sebastian couldn’t avoid and pass by the opportunity to one-up his master.  
Ciel was thankfully not plagued by any more foul dreams that night. They would be for another time.


	2. Blue Stocking

Ciel awoke the next morning rather late, a bit surprised to see that Sebastian had not woken him up. The only explanation his brain could gather for that would be that he had no work to get done today, so there was no reason for his butler to force him awake from such a peaceful sleep.

He stood, toeing on his slippers and making his way to the bathroom to take care of his usual morning duties. When he was finished, he returned to his room and sat on his bed. He planned on waiting here until Sebastian came to dress him and get him ready for the day ahead.  
He knew he could’ve easily gotten himself dressed and went downstairs, as he wasn’t nearly as incapable as he claimed to be, he just preferred it this way.

Sebastian had spent the night decorating and arranging the entire manor, however he kept all presents hidden on Ciell’s demands for there not to be any, even though Sebastian knew he would have them out on Christmas day. In the ballroom, however, stood a tall Christmas tree lined with tinsel and many ornaments, all of them being blue in shade with a golden trim. It could easily be fantastical to Ciel if he only let himself enjoy Christmas. 

Sebastian had literally decorated almost the entire manor, and that included Ciel’s bedroom. it wasn’t noticeable, since nothing had been moved and no new colours were shining at the tired boy, but there was a single, unsuspecting stocking pinned to his fireplace.

Inside of Ciel’s dark blue and black laced stocking resided a few gifts which Elizabeth had chosen out as Sebastian had asked the young lady what it was she would give Ciel for Christmas. Among the sweets and odd toys, laid a perfect orange, one of the oldest traditions of the holiday. Sebastian had left Ciel to sleep, knowing they had no plans until the evening when they had to attend the Queen’s ball. Upon hearing his young lord walking around and using the restroom, Sebastian approached his bedroom, waiting outside the door until he was sure it would be a timely entry.  
Sebastian knocked three times as always before entering.  
“My lord, I see you have awoken.” He says, seeming unfazed, as if he hasn’t decorated the manor completely during the night.

Ciel still wasn’t awake enough to notice the small decoration in his room. He didn’t seem to have much of a care in the world that morning, as he stood up for Sebastian to dress him for the day. He’d have to get dressed again later into his formal clothing, but he didn’t want to be in his nightgown all day long while he waited for that time.  
He hoped that Sebastian would dress him in something somewhat comfortable and casual for now. He was still exhausted. The dark circles under his eyes were telling that he had had his sleep interrupted during the night before. His morning tea shall do the job with waking him up properly, though.  
The only hope he had for today was to get through it without any foolish Christmas cheer and nonsense. He didn’t want to see any decor, hear any carollers, or get fawned over by any doting old ladies.  
“Have you got my outfit picked out for the Queen’s event tonight?” It was the time of year that he always mingled with the most nobles so he had to look his absolute best. “It has to be a bit more extravagant than my usual formal wear. This party is important to the Queen, and she is desperate for me to attend and say hello to her. The last thing I want to do is underdress and look like a fool.”

Sebastian listened to everything the other had to say, nodding once it was his turn  
“Of course, I have spoken with your tailor and we’ve arranged a suitable outfit for the event. We are sure you will stand out and impress Her Majesty.” Sebastian informs him, drawing the curtains and bringing some light to the room.  
“This morning I have left the tea downstairs, since this morning's breakfast shall be substantial indeed,” he says, not telling any more than that. Sebastian opened the drawers and collected standard clothing, some knee length shorts, a dress shirt, his blue bow, buckle and socks.  
“For now, shall we get dressed?” He asks as he places the items beside the earl, helping him to dress.

Ciel grimaced as Sebastian dressed him. “Why on earth would you make a substantial breakfast for one?” He said, pausing for a movement. “Lady Elizabeth hasn’t made a last second Christmas visit, has she?” He said, almost shuddering at just the thought of such a thing.  
“Or is this some ploy to try and get to me to celebrate something foolish?” He huffed, sitting back on the bed so that Sebastian could put on his shoes.  
His gaze fell on the fireplace as he was dressed. “What is the thing over my fireplace? I want it taken down immediately Sebastian, that is absolutely ridiculous. The childish practice of a stocking is not something I wish to take part in. I want it out of my sight at once.”  
If Ciel had known the gifts inside were from Elizabeth, however, it might have been a bit of a different story. He didn’t love her the way she loved him, but he cared for her, even though he would rather die than admit that.

Sebastian knelt as he took one shoe and put it on, tying it together so it fit snugly.  
“I think you shall find breakfast rather to your preference, young master.” Sebastian says as he looks up at him, taking the other shoe and placing it on as well, making sure it evenly fitted.  
“Lady Elizabeth is not joining us today, however she will be making an appearance tomorrow with the marquees and their family.” Sebastian told him before standing and fetching a jacket as if to ask Ciel if he would like one.  
Sebastian looked at the stocking before looking back at Ciel, a small smirk on his face as he found mild humour in the situation. Sebastian was particularly picky with Ciel's words and orders, being sure to toy with the child and find ways to defy or get around his instructions cheekily. Unless absolutely ordered, Sebastian wasn’t guaranteed to follow Ciel’s orders exactly, but he always did so to a degree.  
“My lord, would it not be inconsiderate of you to not check the contents of it? After doing what you asked of telling Lady Elizabeth about your requests for no Christmas presents, she strongly requested for me to supply a stocking. The contents were decided by her. I think she would be most appreciative if you were to accept her small trinkets.” He advises as he takes Ciel’s eyepatch from his side table and helps to put it on for him.

Ciel held in a groan. Just because he cared for Elizabeth, didn’t mean he wanted to see her on Christmas Day. She was so cheerful on a normal day, Christmas would just amplify and make it worse. Even worse than that, he’d have to endure her brother as well, whom he knew hated him. It was certainly going to be a long two days.  
Ciel flushed when he heard that the stocking was from Elizabeth. Why had she done that? He’d specifically said no gifts. That blasted butler had found a loophole again. He took the stocking from him, pouring the contents out into his bed. He had to catch the orange before it rolled off, tossing it in his hands for a few minutes before rolling his eyes, or well, eye, and placing it on the bed next to the other items. He inspected the sweets inside before placing everything back and putting the stocking on his night table.  
“I assume you have the gifts for her family prepared?”  
Even if Ciel refused to receive gifts, he knew it would be horribly rude to not give any gifts to his fiancé’s family. He always had gifts prepared for them, though Sebastian always picked them out.  
He did, however, always drop hints at what to get for Lizzie herself. He always wanted to pick out her gift, so he dropped the hints rather than face the embarrassment of saying he wanted to go shopping for her.

Sebastian watched with his usual grin enjoying the feeling of glee he had when he knew he’d found his way around the child. Not only was it incredibly humorous and entertaining for Sebastian to find loopholes and get away with avoiding certain actions, the aftermath of changing Ciel's mind even when he was set on something had Sebastian feeling accomplished.  
“Of course, I have wrapped and kept them safe until tomorrow morning. They are due to arrive midday for a celebratory meal. I have made them aware that festivities may not be at a great height, but I have made sure that they will not be disappointed,” he states, standing and opening the door for Ciel.

Ciel nodded a bit, standing up and allowing Sebastian to put the jacket on him. He headed out the door, going down the stairs to the dining room of his manor before freezing in the entrance way. A large Christmas tree was up, along with thousands of other tiny decorations.  
He stared at all of them with a hint of what could’ve been childlike wonder for a few moments before snapping out of it.  
“Sebastian! What is the meaning of all of this?” He glared at his butler, getting closer to him. “I specifically told you not to decorate my manor!” He snapped. Any wonder in his eyes had drained out, replaced by the utmost amount of angry and rage.

Sebastian followed behind, watching how the young boy idly walked through the manor, unsuspecting of what he was about to come across. Once he had seen the wonder, even if only for a few seconds, he knew that he had found his way around Ciel's cold demeanour over Christmas. Sebastian wouldn’t have any complaints in mind if Ciel was to warm up to the idea of the holiday, since it would give the staff some peace from Ciel's constant commentary on how Christmas is pointless.  
Sebastian looked at Ciel and then back at the tree, before down again.  
“Whatever would the Midfords think when they arrived, if not a single decoration was in place?” he asked, keeping his calm demeanour as always.  
“You told me yourself, young master - that ‘a phantomhive butler must do his best to uphold the status of an earl.’ Am I not simply carrying out those instructions?” he asks, finding flaws in Ciel's emotions as always.  
“My lord, whatever will become of Scrooge if you were to take his place?” Sebastian asked cheekily, knowing the boy despised Christmas more than anyone.

Ciel let out a sigh, knowing he couldn’t argue with the logic of a demon. “Fine. But it all comes down the second they leave!” He said, storming away toward the dining room. He hoped those wretched servants wouldn’t try something too. Sebastian was enough for now, he couldn’t deal with the rest of them.  
“A Christmas Carol is an idiotic story. Scrooge was wise and successful until he let his pointless emotions get in the way.” Ciel hated that book. He thought it was idiotic. No person should value others over themselves. Scrooge was successful, even if he had to step on others to get his way.  
Once in the dining room, Ciel stopped again. An entire breakfast feast was laid out for him. Even the dining room was covered with tinsel and lights.  
His mind drifted back to a Christmas many years again, but he quickly brought himself back to reality. “You’re ridiculous.” He muttered, rolling his eyes and taking his usual seat at the table.

Sebastian followed through, knowing he had to put up with Ciel's displeasure regarding Christmas. Even though it was proving difficult, Sebastian was also determined to change Ciel's view of Christmas, or at least lighten it.  
Upon being called ridiculous, Sebastian simply nodded.  
“Of course, my lord.” he says and stands beside him, being sure to put whatever Ciel requested onto his plate before bringing it to him, bringing the tea and pouring that to suit Ciel’s tastes  
“There are no arrangements for today other than the ball which we shall prepare for at 5. Until then, you have an empty schedule. The documents for the land beside the registry office ownership is due to be completed on boxing day, but that gives you ample time to complete it.”

Ciel nodded, continuing to eat what was prepared for him. “I suppose I can begin work on the documents today. Better to get it done as soon as possible then to wait for the deadline to approach. Besides, it will get me out of whatever ridiculousness you and the others probably have planned.” He rolled his eyes, taking a long sip of his tea.  
He ate rather slowly, taking his time on his day off. Once he was sure he was finished, he stood up and headed upstairs to his study without a word. He knew Sebastian would know what to do when it came to the cleaning, so he didn’t need to bother explaining it to him.

Sebastian stood and waited, refilling Ciel's cup if he required more tea or anything he’d like to eat. Once the earl rose and dismissed himself, Sebastian was fast to gather the servants, instructing them to clear the table and that they may have whatever leftovers they desire.  
Sebastian ensured the manor was clean and orderly before he worked on making sure each room had been dusted and cleaned before heading towards Ciel's study, leaving him to work or have time alone for a few hours. At around 2:00, he knocked at the study and then entered  
“Young master, is there anything I can do for you?” He asked.

Ciel worked diligently for most of the day, only slacking off one or two times to day dream about god knows what. He was, however, in the middle of a report when Sebastian knocked and entered the room. “Bring me something sweet.”  
He was in need of some kind of motivation to continue with the work. “I also need the holiday company reports.” He said, referring to his Funtom Toy Company. “I need to compare them to last year's sales.” They were almost always the top grossing children’s toy company during Christmas time, so it was rarely a battle against other companies for the best. Ciel preferred to try and best themselves each year, as it was a mundane and rather simple task to best others. 

Sebastian entered the room and looked at the earl, looking at the clock to see how it had past midday.  
“I would advise you to have something savoury as there will be many sweet treats at the Queen’s ball, and it would be respectful to sample the food provided,” he says, always giving Ciel advice and being rational.  
“Too many sweets will deteriorate your health, my lord,” he informed him, walking to the stack of shelves they had along one side of the study, looking for the reports that Ciel requested, taking out the correct file and bringing it to him, placing it on the table carefully

Ciel didn’t want to agree with his butler, but he decided that it wasn’t worth the argument. He was right, there would be plenty of sweets at the party. “Fine then, some tea.” He said, flipping through the reports, nodding to himself. They had done even better than last year. The company continued to grow strongly.  
“Return with my tea and don’t bother me again until it is time to prepare for the ball.” He said, flipping through the pages once more to make sure that all of the numbers were correct, as well as taking some notes of the things that worked and the things that didn’t.

Sebastian smiles a little when Ciel agrees with him, also not having energy to argue with the mortal child. Sebastian knew he was right and he felt a sense of smugness when Ciel agreed with him.  
Sebastian nodded and left to prepare some tea, bringing it back once it had steeped, placing the set neatly on the table.  
“I will return in a few hours to prepare you for the ball. Until then, my lord.” Sebastian says politely before leaving, closing the study door carefully, hearing the click before he turned and walked towards the laundry room, deciding to get those sheets from the night before washed and pressed.

The next few hours went by quickly as Ciel finished up all of the work he needed to do for the next two days. It wasn’t too difficult, though all of it was tedious.  
By the time Sebastian was to return to dress him, he had a pounding headache, causing him to bury his head in his arms on his desk. The pain was throbbing, most likely a combination of the cold weather, the stress of the evening, and the little sleep that he had. He couldn’t miss this party though, as the Queen said something along the lines of that she wanted to see his, “adorable childlike little face,” for the Christmas season.

Sebastian returned in a timely manner at 4 o'clock exactly, ready to prepare Ciel for the event and to run him through the formalities again.  
“Young master-“ Sebastian spoke as he knocked and entered, seeing the boy hunched over the desk. Sebastian hesitated and then spoke.  
“Whatever is the matter?” He asked, knowing he wasn’t that knowledgeable when it came to illnesses in humans.  
Sebastian walked towards the earl and asked to see his face, removing his glove and using the back of his hand to feel if he had a temperature. He had a slight one, but nothing too bad.

Ciel heard his butler come in, but he didn’t make a sound or say an answer until he had gotten closer to him. “It’s only a slight headache, I’ll be fine.” He said, standing up, but almost stumbling a bit. “Damn flashbacks.” He muttered. This always happened to him after particularly bad nightmares. He didn’t know why he hadn’t been expecting it. “I can still attend the ball.” He placed his hand gingerly against his forehead, hoping some kind of pressure would help. “It’ll go away in time.”  
He just needed to get through the night. “I don’t want to disappoint her majesty.” He said as he led the way down the hall toward his room. “She said that she’s very excited to see me out at a social event.” He rolled his eyes a bit. She knew he hated balls like this.

Sebastian led Ciel towards his bedroom where he would get changed, but Sebastian was having second thoughts about it.  
“My lord, I understand you don’t wish to disappoint her majesty, but you seem to be ill.” He says truthfully as they went into his room.  
“You haven’t slept much, and you seem to be in discomfort. Wouldn’t her majesty feel more relieved to know that you are taking some well deserved rest?” He asked him as he helped to remove Ciel’s shoes.  
“... her majesty understands what December means for you,” he says quietly afterwards, also removing Ciel’s buckles and socks.

Ciel frowned. “I’ll be fine, Sebastian, really.” He said, not all that worried about it. “We can go for an hour and come back to the manor.” He said, sighing softly. “She just wants to see me, she’s worried. You read the letter she sent.”  
Her Majesty had sent a letter to Ciel a few days ago to invite him and check in on him. It was clearly personalised for him. The queen had always had a special place in her heart for the young boy, especially during the difficult winter months.  
“It would be best to stay in her good graces. If we can catch her in the beginning of the party, we can leave as soon as we see her.” Ciel didn’t plan on staying for long at all.

Sebastian nodded, looking at the lord as he explained.  
“I understand, young master,” he says as he stands and goes to take out the new outfit that was made specially for the earl, setting it beside him.  
“Now, shall we get you prepared?” He asks as he unfolds certain bits of clothing and removes Ciel's jacket and dress shirt.  
“We shall be sure to arrive at the beginning and will stay for an hour to appreciate the hospitality. I shall accompany you to the event, however I presume it will be my place as a butler to observe from a distance,” he says and takes the new outfit and appropriately dresses the earl.

Ciel thought about that for a moment. Navigating the party without Sebastian by his side sounded a bit frightening, but not too much that he couldn’t handle it. “I suppose you’ll do whatever the other butlers are doing.” He didn’t really know what to tell Sebastian to do. “Just follow their lead, do what you always do at foolish balls.”  
He glanced down at the extravagant outfit, feeling somewhat pleased. His outfit was the perfect balance between adulthood and childhood, exactly what the queen would want to see. She liked when he was a bit childish, but he also needed to keep up professional appearances.

“Yes, my lord,” the other said smoothly as he dressed the younger, making sure everything fit properly and that he looked his best.  
“If you require my assistance I won’t be far away,” he tells the other before standing, adjusting his own clothing so it was all definitely smartly worn.  
“The carriage will be ready soon. I have scheduled the evening to fit well so that we return before night.” He says, pocketing his watch, awaiting the long night that lay ahead of them.


	3. The Watchdog's Ailment

Ciel stepped out of the carriage with Sebastian in tow, making his way down the long entryway to the palace. It had been a while since he’d paid more than a quick work visit to the queen, and he knew she’d be excited to see him, even just for a short while.  
He made sure that he looked as regal as he could as he made his way toward the door, nodding at the guards before making his way inside. He dropped back a bit to address Sebastian. “Strange to not be at a party to investigate.” He commented slowly. “Keep an eye out for anything suspicious. We’re never off from work.” He wanted to make sure Sebastian was watching out incase anything did happen.  
Trying to ignore the ever present pounding in his head, Ciel attempted to make a detour to the sweets, only to be stopped by a colleague. Holding in a sigh, he kept the conversation to the best of his ability, making sure not to stumble over his words. It was getting difficult to speak with this stupid head pain.

Sebastian checked that Ciel's attire was to a high standard before they entered the room, being sure to straighten any detail that needed adjusting as they were in the carriage.  
As the two entered the large ballroom, Sebastian made sure to heed close attention to Ciel's instructions, being aware of what he was going to say anyways. Agreeing, he allowed the earl to walk forwards without him, scoffing quietly as he noticed how Ciel was fast to take the detour, knowing how prone he was to try and stick by unnoticed.  
Sebastian kept to the shadows, moving from one side of the room to another as Ciel walked, always staying close but not suspiciously nearby. He was sly, merely being noticed by the other occupants of the ball. The butler had been formalised, his hair slicked back rather than how it usually was, an appearance suitable for an event which the Queen was hosting.  
Her Royal Majesty was speaking to a small band of dukes and duchesses as Ciel entered, and she hadn’t noticed his appearance until a duchess had excused herself. As the woman left, the Queen noticed her pass the smaller boy, who was just about making his way out of another conversation.  
Seeing the child, she was sure to finish her own chatter with the small group and excuse herself also, thanking them for their company, before she walked towards the Phantomhive boy, greeting him with a smile as she noticed he was alone.  
“My dear boy, how nice it is to see you again!” She spoke, in a warm tone of voice.

Ciel was quickly losing attention in the conversation, and he couldn’t help but say he was glad when he saw the man leave to go speak with another woman. Ciel despised small talk and it seemed that was all to be done at these parties.  
By that point, his headache was starting to become much, much worse. He felt as if he might pass out from the pain, so he tried to make a detour back to the waiters, seeing if he’d be able to get some tea to try and help with his ailment. He was stopped, however, by none other than the queen herself.  
“Your majesty!” Ciel said, surprise evident in his voice. He didn’t expect to see her so soon into the ball. He sincerely hoped he didn’t look as ill as he felt, as he didn’t want her to worry about his well being more than she already did during December.  
He was thirteen now, however. He could deal with this. “I’m very pleased to see you. I can only stay for a short while, as we’re expecting the Midford family over tomorrow for Christmas Day.” He tried not to shudder at the words leaving his mouth. Even speaking it disgusted him. “I am glad to have gotten to see you again before I need to leave.” He said, voice wavering a bit at the end of his sentence as another sharp pain crashed through his skull. The headaches weren’t normally this bad, but everything was always worse for him in December.

Sebastian was pleased to see the two speaking, also narrowly missing conversation with other men who seemed to have found themselves at the ball. He kept a close ear out on the twos conversation, monitoring Ciel's condition as it were, while also watching the other guests, always alert on his lord’s safety.  
“Very well, my boy,” the queen said as she looked at his attire, pleasantly surprised with the outfit he wore, thinking it suited him perfectly.  
“I expect it will be rather nice to have some company at Christmas, and the Midford’s are a pleasant company to have. They are your family after all.” She says warmly, not noticing Ciel’s condition until after she had spoken  
“My boy, I was about to ask you how well you’ve been faring recently, but you seem to be in a great deal of discomfort. What ails you?” She asks, keeping her voice down as she didn’t want anybody near them to hear their conversation.

Ciel tensed a bit at the mention of family, as he didn’t really think of anyone as his family anymore. It would be fine to see them though. He wasn’t excited about it, nor was he dreading it. The only dread he held about the situation stemmed from the fact that it was for Christmas. It had nothing to do with the fact that it was the Midfords.  
He knew that this was coming. Her majesty was one of the few who know what Ciel had gone through in a month. Not in detail, of course, only Sebastian knew that, but still to an extent. The month of December was always a horrible one, as his birthday and Christmas all reminded him too much of his past.  
“I’m alright, your majesty, thank you. It’s just a bit of a headache, supposedly from what month it is.” He knew that sentence would be enough to explain himself. Just the word December could explain it to anyone who knew of his condition.  
He did, however, begin to feel his vision blur up. What was this pain? He glanced around the room, trying desperately to catch the attention of Sebastian.

The queen nodded in acknowledgment, listening to the boy’s words.  
“I see, it certainly is a dreadful time for you, but Christmas brings joy to everyone. I pray you find happiness, Ciel,” she says warmly, calling him by his name since she spoke so fondly of him.  
Sebastian glanced over towards Ciel after a while of careful examination of the other guests, not finding anything of suspicion with any of them. Sebastian saw Ciel's discomfort as he glanced around the room, and sensed himself being called to the lord. Sebastian approached the two from the side, ghosting still, but coming close enough to bow to the queen and then approach properly.  
“Ah, I see you brought your butler with you again this year,” she says and nods towards Sebastian.  
“A pleasure to meet your acquaintance, your majesty.” Sebastian spoke, his words gleaming like honey. The queen looked between the two and then heard her name being called, turning her head as a waiter had come to inform her that the champagne was going to be coming out soon, therefore her toast would be needed.  
As the queen spoke to the waiter, Sebastian turned to Ciel.  
“My lord, is everything alright?” he asks, a whisper.

Ciel let out a reluctant nod and a breathy thank you at her talk of the joy of Christmas. He was barely paying attention to her, as he slowly realised he was probably experiencing a migraine of some kind.  
He heard the queen speak of Sebastian, and he felt relief wash over him. If something bad happened, at least Sebastian was next to him to make up an excuse for his behaviour.  
When Sebastian whispered to him, he let out a curt nod, but it was clear that everything was very much so not alright. “I think I’m experiencing some kind of a migraine.” He kept his voice low. “I’m having trouble seeing, my vision is starting to blur.” He just wanted to leave more than anything, but he didn’t want to seem weak.  
He knew he had to be strong, and the idea of leaving a party because of a headache, even if it was bad enough to be classified as a migraine, just seemed silly and somewhat childish.

Sebastian listened and made himself aware of their surroundings, making sure their voices were low.  
“My lord, I would advise you to step out of the room for a moment, even if you’re not to leave. If you were to collapse, it would cause a scene.” He says quietly.  
The queen turned back as Sebastian stepped back again, looking at the boy.  
“Ever so sorry to cut this conversation short, I need to go and make a toast, I shall speak with you again soon if you’re still here, if not, I’ll write to you,” she says warmly.  
“Keep yourself well, Ciel,” she says to him and nods before turning and following the waiter who was to show her to her place for the toast.

Ciel nodded at Sebastian's suggestion, pulling himself together to speak to the queen again. “Yes, your majesty, I would be happy to. The same to you.” He said, grateful to see her leave.  
The second she was gone, he gripped Sebastian's arm tightly. “I don’t think I can see well enough to navigate out of the room.” He admitted, tiredly. He didn’t even feel embarrassed, he was just emotionally and physically exhausted. “Be as nonchalant as possible. The last thing I want to be seen as is some child who’s out too late past his bedtime.” He muttered.

Sebastian nodded, knowing the two should move slowly to not be detected but fast enough to leave the room before the queen made her speech, knowing the room would fall silent as soon as she started to speak, and they’d be easily spotted leaving.  
Sebastian changed the way Ciel held onto him, moving his hand so that it held onto the cuff of his jacket at the back, seemingly unnoticeable.  
“I will move us towards the exit now, my lord,” he tells him quietly before they start to move, Sebastian's aura being sly and unnoticeable anyways.

Ciel nodded slightly, feeling his legs grow a bit weak as he walked. Luckily, they managed to slip out unnoticed before the speech began. Ciel only hoped that she didn’t scan the room for him while she spoke, which was unlikely, but still a possibility.  
“Sebastian, I need a place to sit”. He said, feeling his legs weaken underneath him. This headache was horribly painful. It had to be some kind of migraine. “How do you even get rid of a bloody migraine?” He mumbled, half to himself and half to Sebastian.

Sebastian closed the door behind them as they left and turned to Ciel, noticing how he seemed weak and pained. Sebastian looked around the hall and noticed a lounge chair, guiding him over to it.  
“I’m not sure, my lord,” he said quietly as he guided the boy to sit. Sebastian didn’t fall ill to human illnesses, so he was rather unsure on how it felt or how he could help. Similarly to how Ciel had his asthma attack at the circus, he was unsure on how to manage human illnesses.  
“I imagine you’re suffering due to lack of sleep and stress over the holiday season,” he says quietly, standing beside the earl, a knee on the floor as he looked at his condition.  
“Water and silence may be the best cure,” he says and looks around the two of them.  
“I imagine the volume inside the ballroom will worsen your state,” he tells him.  
“Shall i fetch some water for you, my lord?” he asks.

Ciel was grateful for the chair. He tried to take some deep breaths once he sat down, trying to make sure this wasn’t his asthma at play. He was breathing fine though, so it couldn’t be that.  
“Don’t leave”. He said it a bit too quickly, causing his face to flush. “There’s too many people here who don’t like me.” He wasn’t exactly well loved among the queen's adversaries. Most people questioned her soft spot for the strange young boy.  
“There’s too many people here who aren’t a fan of what I’ve done, and I’m too vulnerable. My vision keeps blurring up.” He said, frowning as he felt extremely weak. “Call over a waiter.” He paused. “Or call the carriage.” He didn’t want to leave a mere twenty minutes after he had arrived, but it was getting to be a lot.  
In a moment of weakness, he dropped his head to his chest, covering his ears to block out the noise still coming from the room. He shut his eyes tight to block out the light. It was getting to be too much for his small body to handle.

Sebastian pondered on what would be the best course of action to take, and in a final deciding moment he chose to call for the carriage since he could see how overwhelmed Ciel was becoming. Even though he knew the boy didn’t want to leave so early, his condition would only worsen, and the two didn’t want Ciel ending up in a worse state.  
“One moment, my lord,” he says.  
“I won’t be going far.” He tells him before walking to the end of the corridor, keeping his senses heightened as he made sure nobody was approaching the younger. He saw a staff member towards the entrance of the building and requested that the Phantomhive carriage was to be called forwards as they were leaving. The staff simply nodded and agreed before leaving to go and arrange for that to happen.  
Sebastian took a few paces backwards before turning and walking back towards his master, thinking about what could have set this off. He had an inkling it just had been the previous night’s events, but he wasn’t convinced that was the only offender. ciel must’ve been overworking himself or building up his anxieties for it to get this bad.  
Ciel often seemed to have the habit of acting older than he was. Of course, the boy was naturally much more mature than others his age due to his trauma and occupation, but he was still a child, and Sebastian had to keep that in mind. Ciel was prone to illness and he always had been, it was just that the boy hid it well.

Ciel tried his best to calm himself down while Sebastian was away, but it only got worse. He wanted to stay strong, like the adult he was supposed to be, and work through this pain, but it was way too difficult. His head was throbbing horribly, and it felt like it was going to explode if he didn’t do something soon.  
He knew all of this came from the stress of the month combined with his awful dream. He had also neglected to eat or drink much since breakfast that day to save room for food tonight, something that his already weak body couldn’t really handle. If he got some food in his system he might feel a bit better, but he was starting to feel nauseated from the pain, and the last thing he wanted to do was vomit in the palace.  
He heard a voice call out to him and he slowly lifted his head to lock eyes with a man he knew hated him. He was highly against the practice of the watchdog, as he was one of the men from Scotland Yard. How he ended up at the Queen’s Christmas party, Ciel did not know.  
“A little boy shouldn’t come to a party unattended, especially when the little boy has to hide from the party outside. Phantomhive, you act so high and mighty, but you can’t even stay up past your bedtime to attend a party, can you? You’re not as strong as Scotland Yard on your own, and you know it. Leave the queen’s problems to us.”  
Ciel glared and tried to spit back a comeback, but he did something worse instead. Overwhelmed with the nausea, he vomited, covering the man’s shoes in puke.

Sebastian heard the footsteps of the stranger approaching Ciel, and his pace quickened, but he allowed the man to speak his mind, already knowing what he himself would say back to the other. Sebastian had to uphold his own appearance of being a butler, at least until Ciel became endangered or commanded him otherwise, so he made sure to keep a natural pace as he returned to the pair.  
Upon his arrival where Ciel was still sitting, he was quite surprised himself to see how Ciel vomited so publicly, not expecting the affair and being shocked at how bad his illness must really be. Ciel had come down with colds and headaches before, but not to this extent. He had a good hold on his own self control, and he’d not been sick like this for many months.  
“young master-“ he called out as he saw the scene carry out, coming to the child’s side to make sure he was alright after the action. He patted his back gently as if to check his throat was clear before looking up at the man, who had put himself in that position.  
“Unattended?” he asks and scoffs  
“My, the earl of Phantomhive never goes anywhere unattended, I can assure you.”  
While Sebastian was good at keeping up his reputation, he was better at defending his master and squeezing in his own free speech when he felt his collar wasn’t being tightened by Ciel. Sebastian stood, being taller than the man for sure.  
“It would seem you have your own problems to attend to, you wouldn’t want to displease the queen by looking like that now, would you?” He asks, looking between him and his soiled shoes.  
Before the man could burst out in rage and declare anything, Sebastian was sure to speak again.  
“It would seem your attitude is that of a child's, jealousy and envy for how the queen has her favourites.” He remarks, the urge to avenge Ciel and kill the man for his spiteful comments was tempting, however he knew that a murder in the palace would be most inappropriate and the two would be held clearly accountable. Not to mention, he was not ordered to do so by Ciel therefore he wasn’t permitted to kill a human, nor was he able to consume a single soul

Ciel was surprised by his own actions as well. He didn’t think he had been so sick as to vomit, but it all came over him so quickly. The headache eased a bit after he did so though, so at least that helped.  
The man glared at Ciel, ready to snap at the boy when his butler got in the way. “I do not appreciate it when the hired help tries to speak to me!” He glared, making a bit of a scene in the hall. He didn’t move from his spot, but he began to catch the attention of some party goers.  
Whispered voices were heard about how a man could yell like that about a sick little boy, even if that boy was the earl of Phantomhive.  
Ciel hated this kind of attention. He felt like a ridiculous child. He just hoped the queen's attention wasn’t drawn, as he knew she’d create a bigger scene if she saw her “favourite little boy” being yelled at by some man from Scotland Yard of all people.

Sebastian wasn’t at all impressed, looking down at the earl as if to see if he would order him to do anything, but it would seem he would rather have the scene over with and for them to leave. Sebastian knew Ciel well at this point and knew that the boy wanted silence and for the attention to be elsewhere.  
Sebastian looked back the the man and shook his head.  
“I’m afraid you’re making quite the scene,” he tells him with a low voice as if to emphasise he was making a scene.  
“Taunting the earl in such a way, when he himself is indisposed. Do you not think a fight with someone your own stature would be more convenient?” He asked.  
Thencarriage pulled up outside for that moment, and a waiter came to tell them about the arrival. Upon seeing the vomit after informing Sebastian, he was quick to find more staff to clean the scene and attend to the guest’s soiled shoes.  
“We shall be taking our leave now,” Sebastian says as he assists the earl in standing and directing him under his arm towards the carriage. sebastian closed in towards the man as they passed, uttering final words of advice.  
“I'd advise you, the queen’s watchdog bites. Best to stay out of its jaw,” he says quietly before offering a sly smile.  
“Good night, sir,” he says, any overseers being able to see Sebastian's polite farewell. The butler guided Ciel towards the carriage, the cool night air blowing at the two rather harshly as they walked between the palace doors and the carriage, Sebastian’s hand going to steady the ill boy as they sat inside.

The man tried to fight back multiple times during the exchange, but he never once was able to get a word out. It was clear that Sebastian had won, to every single person in the room.  
Sympathetic looks were shot Ciel's way as he stumbled out of the palace. He was glad to have been able to talk to the queen, but he hated how many blows he received to his reputation that night. It honestly stung more than he could say, but he didn’t want to complain, especially not in front of Sebastian. Somehow, that would be even more humiliating.  
Once back in the carriage, Ciel allowed himself to let his guard down and rest against the side of it. He felt absolutely humiliated. “How many people were around today that witnessed the exchange?” He asked after a few minutes into the ride. He felt a bit sick again just thinking about it. “You don’t think word of this will carry all the way to the Midfords, do you?” He didn’t want them to bring this up tomorrow. He didn’t want anyone to bring this up ever again. He was starting to regret attending in the first place if he was being totally honest.

Sebastian did his best to steady the earl and ease his discomfort, taking out his own napkin from his uniform and making sure no vomit remained on Ciel's face or hands as the two spoke to each other.  
“I would say only a few people witnessed that,” he said truthfully as he folded the napkin and placed it into one of his pockets.  
“A few members of staff alongside a small gathering of women, duchesses I believe, or wives of land owners. I don't believe a word will get to the midfords. I would say it would be idle gossip, not much at all.”  
Sebastian returns to aiding the earl, not knowing if Ciel would appreciate it or snap at him for it. Sebastian loosened Ciel’s bow around his neck and undid the first button of his shirt, allowing him access to cool air on the December night. He did not want Ciel's condition to worsen, especially as they were due to have the Midfords around the next day.

Ciel sighed when he heard that. The last thing he had wanted, doting old ladies. He frowned, keeping his eyes closed as he tried to not focus on the pain.  
Under any other circumstance, Ciel would’ve snapped that he wasn’t a child and he didn’t need this kind of care, but in this moment, it was much more comforting than he thought it would be. It also made him feel much better. He shrugged off his jacket as well, laying it on the seat next to him. It was a bit chilly in the carriage, but his overheating body gladly welcomed it.  
Ciel was most likely suffering from a very intense migraine mixed with anxiety about the Christmas season. Along with that, seasonal allergies and the beginnings of a cold were starting to find their way into his system, further weakening his body. His asthma didn’t exactly help either, creating the perfect storm for a rather intense illness.  
“Should we cancel the Midford's? I don’t want to be a sick host.” Would it be too late to cancel if they waited for tomorrow? It was only family, so it might not be, but who knows with high class citizens.

Sebastian continued to monitor the boy’s sickness and health, making sure he didn’t worsen. He was surprised himself that Ciel was allowing him to care and handle him as much as he was, as usually he would blurt out that he was no longer a child and that he didn’t need the extra assistance, but this time he didn’t speak a word of it.  
Sebastian listened to his concerns on being a sick host and he thought before speaking.  
“I would say it would be a rash cancellation, but the Midfords are some of the few who know what December means to you,” he says and adjusts to how he was sitting opposite the boy  
“I think they would understand. I can call their residence either tonight or in the morning to inform them of the cancellation if you desire. Though, best to see how you fare in the morning and decide then. What would you prefer, my lord?” He asks

Ciel agreed with him. It would probably be best to wait until the morning. He let one of his hands idly toy with his ring on his finger as he responded. “Yes, I suppose waiting until tomorrow would be the best course of action. Disappointing Lady Elizabeth on Christmas Day is not something I planned on doing”. He said simply, leaning back against the seat and closing his eyes.  
As he dozed off, he neglected to remind Sebastian that he didn’t want to celebrate Christmas tomorrow. It had totally slipped his mind with his illness, and he was unaware of any plans that Sebastian may or may not have planned. He didn’t want to know what his butler had up his sleeve.

Sebastian nodded as he was pleased that Ciel had agreed with him to wait until the next day to see if cancelling the Christmas celebrations would be ideal. The butler watched as the boy fell asleep, finally catching up on some needed rest which he had lost the day before.  
Sebastian accepted that it could be probable that Ciel would wake during this night also, but he was glad that the boy was sleeping now, in hopes that he would regain strength and be able to fight this illness better.  
As the two pulled up to the manor, Sebastian pondered on waking the earl so that they could walk in together, but he concluded that Ciel needed as much sleep as he could get in order to feel his best, and so sebastian opened the cab door and gingerly lifted the earl, doing his best to be smooth and gentle with him, covering his face as they faced the cold winter's night air which was blowing rather vigorously. Sebastian suspected the boy to stir or wake up due to the change in atmosphere and temperature, but either way, Sebastian was careful to hold him in a way that was comfortable, taking him indoors and heading straight for his bedroom.

Ciel didn’t stir as he was lifted up by his butler, he stayed sound asleep as he was carried all the way back to his room and put to sleep. As if by some Christmas miracle, he wasn’t plagued by any intense nightmares in the middle of the night. He somehow managed to stay sound asleep, waking up around 8:00 am the night morning. On Christmas morning.


End file.
